Watching through rosy glass

As you well know, John fell last week while we were away celebrating our anniversary, Thankfully, the trip home was uneventful and we made it safely. Unfortunately when we got there, we found out that a few things were going on with John’s Aunt. She had fallen a few weeks ago, had broken her pelvis and was recuperating at a rehab facility. We now found that she was never going to be able to return to the assisted living facility that she had been calling home for the last year. The assisted living home does not have the facilities to give her the care she needs. It’s now time for permanent nursing care.

John’s Aunt is 93 and has had some good days and some bad days. She was never married and therefore does not have any children. John and his sister are it. As my husband’s caregiver I worry about the amount of stress this puts on him. He does go to visit her. There are days she appreciates it. There are days she does not. So you never know what you are going to get when you arrive there. Now we have to tell her that she will not go back to the assisted living home. She is not going to be happy. This puts a burden on him, because it is still his aunt. I end up in the middle, trying to stand my ground and watch his health while also looking out for his feelings.

Making things worse is the fact that the woman has not been very nice to me. From the time we married 40 years ago, it’s been obvious that I have not been her favorite. I have always been outspoken, not afraid of saying what I want to say, and to my determent it has gotten me in trouble. But now my main concern is him. I do not want to be selfish but I will because I am the one living with him and taking care of him all the time. My children help, but at 2am in the morning when there is trouble, I am there, NO ONE ELSE.

If I have to stop this aggravation by keeping him away from it all I will. If people are mad, too bad. He does not need stress and aggravation. The aggravation he feels is just anxiety and how we can get all this down again. We cleaned out her first apartment in Springfield. It is very difficult knowing what is important to someone else. These items mean something to the person but mostly nothing to us. But now for the second time we are simplifying her things again to fit into a smaller place. At this point we just want to get it done. But again it is distressing to him because we are dealing with time constraint and other family members.
Now is the time for me to take hold and make sure his health is on the top of the list. Not furniture or whether or not the Salvation Army or Red Cross is called to pick up the stuff.